Monday, March 29, 2010

We Pledge Our Sacred Honor to Defend from All Enemies Foreign and Domestic This 1987 Buick Century

Besides the inexplicable Sisters of Mercy soundtrack, this video by the Michigan-based "Hutaree" militia—recently indicted on sedition, yes, sedition charges—is notable for what apparently constituted their primary assault vehicle: a late-'80s A-body Buick. No word on whether this car was among the tens of thousands assembled at the General Motors factory in Oshawa, Ontario, in, well, you know, Canada.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Unsprung Weight and A-Pillars as Thick as My Thighs = Indie?

Is it just me, or does the presence of the phrase "indie cred" in a Camaro advertisement signify the precise opposite of indie cred? Where's the dipshit who wrote this? Come here so I can slap you!

Things that are stupid about the new Camaro:

1. Gigantic wheels with tiny brakes
2. Curb weight: 3780 lbs.
3. You can't see out of it
4. Cartoonishly updates lame Mustang knee-jerk rip-off first-generation design when it's the second-gen F-body that was truly inspired and iconic
5. It's a Camaro

AOR looks. Heavy Metal Parking Lot cred.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

What's the Difference Between a Porsche and a Porcupine?

One of them has the pricks on the outside.

As Mike Brady once sagely observed, sometimes a cliche becomes a cliche because it's true.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Pimping Eichmann's Ride: A Better Idea

So yesterday I suggested that the Mercedes 540K that once belonged to Adolf Eichmann might be more deserving of the crusher than an award on some golf course lawn somewhere.

I've had a change of heart, though. It's occurred to me that there exists a better solution, one that would appease the automotive collector scum world and the ethically bequalmed alike. I'm keeping the Mercedes, only—for what gives the concours crowd a bigger boner than a custom-coachbuilt one-off?—I'm commissioning a rebody. Think James Glickenhaus with a moral imperative.

Who then to reimagine this iconic Mercedes in a way that pays solemn tribute to its checkered history? Pininfarina, Bertone, Ital Design? The dude who drew that goofy Mantide car?

No, no—I'm aiming higher. I'm thinking serious design-world cachet. Somebody with both celebrity star-power and a hard-earned reputation for giving physical form to humanity's darkest and most hideous impulses. Chris Bangle? You're getting warmer, but not quite. The reveal after the jump!

Read more »

Thursday, March 18, 2010

"Architect of the Holocaust" Adolf Eichmann's 540K Takes Best of Show at Amelia Island

Eichmann himself was sadly unable to attend, but thousands of adoring fans were on hand to celebrate his legacy, many of them gaily dressed in colorful period clothing. "I am truly thrilled to present this award," said 2010 Amelia Island Concours d'Elegance Honorary Chairman Joseph Goebbels, "recognizing a triumph of German engineering the likes of which the world may never see again."

Seriously, rich people? If I had the money I'd buy this thing and hire one of those monster-truck dinosaurs to turn it into the world's most expensive Holocaust memorial. Is it so hard to find something other than former Nazi baubles to cream your silk shorts over? Jesus.

2010 Amelia Island Best in Show Winners